Archive for May 31, 2013

Horrible Deaths

Three men were standing at the gates of heaven. The man who was appointed to let them in told the three men, “We are very full today, so only those of you who died horrible deaths may get in.”

He turns to the first man and asks, “How did you die?” The first man says “Well, I had been suspecting my wife of cheating on me for quite some time, so one day I came home early. I found her in the kitchen, sitting at the table. I began to search the apartment, but I found no one. Finally I went out onto the balcony and found a man hanging over the railing. In a fit of anger I began to pound his hands, so he would let go. Finally he fell into the bushes, but he was still alive so I went into the kitchen and grabbed the refrigerator and threw it down on him. My wife was so furious that she stabbed me to death with a fork.” The man at the gates quickly let the man in on account of his horrible death.

He turns to the second man and asks, “How did you die” The second man replied “I was out on my balcony and somehow I slipped. Luckily, I caught myself on my neighbors balcony. Just as I was trying to get up a man walks up and starts pounding my hands. I tried to hold on, but I couldn’t and I fell into the bushes. Luckily, I was alive until a refrigerator fell onto me.” Then man at the gates of heaven decides that this man has died a most terrible death and quickly lets him in.

The man turns to the last man and asks him “How did you die?” The last man said, “Picture this: I am naked, hiding in my girlfriends refrigerator.”

— Blame for this joke goes to Sick Little Monkey Hickman.