Archive for August 31, 2013

Pennsylvania Winter Diary

AUG. 15 – Moved to our new home in Pennsylvania. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. I love it here.

OCT. 14 – Pennsylvania is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of Red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some Deer. They are so graceful; certainly they are the most wonderful animal on Earth. This must be Paradise. I love it here.

NOV. 11 – Deer season will start soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

DEC. 2 – It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love it in Pennsylvania.

DEC. 12 – More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

DEC. 19 – More snow last night. Couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. @#%&* snowplow.

DEC. 22 – More of that white crap fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the curve and waits until I’m done shoveling the driveway.

DEC. 25 – Merry @#%&* Christmas! More frigg’en snow. If I ever get my hands on that *&%$ who drives that snowplow, I swear I’ll kill the @#%&*. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt the @#%&* ice.

DEC. 27 – More white crap last night. Been inside for 3 days except for shoveling out driveway after that snowplow goes through every time. Can’t go anywhere, cars stuck in a mountain of white crap. The weatherman says to expect another 10” of the crap again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10” is?

DEC. 28 – The @#%&* weatherman was wrong. We got 34” of that white crap this time. At this rate it won’t melt before next summer. The snowplow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the stuff he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his. @#%&* head.

JAN.4 – Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a #$%^ Deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those @#%&* beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

MAY 3 – Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from that @#%&* salt they put all over the road.

MAY 10 – Moved to Georgia. I can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God-forsaken state of Pennsylvania.